22 and already having bladder problems.
So a couple of weeks ago, I turned 22 and decided to go camping for a few days with Amy to celebrate. Once we had embraced the mud, wind and rain, we did quite well. We even managed to put the tent up without completely breaking it. We learnt to cook on a gas stove that magically lit itself and I learnt that no matter what the occasion, Amy can always manage to make her through 8+ cans of cider.
The evening before my birthday, she 'accidentally' got drunk and kept shouting at me "why aren't you drunk?!?!"... erm maybe because you have drank all of the alcohol within a 5 mile radius.
I made it clear that no muddy shoes were allowed in the sleeping bit of the tent. (I realise how anal I am.) Of course, a drunk Amy forgot this and fell into the tent and then proceeded to kick the inside of it, leaving muddy footprints for us to stare at. She set an alarm for midnight to wish me a happy birthday, and then slept through both of them. She also winded me by trying to give me a birthday spoon. THEN in the morning, she forgot it was actually my birthday... Awkward.
On my birthday, we went to the pub in the evening to drink and play cards. Then we took pizzas back to the tent. We had an indepth conversation about the quality of said pizzas. The sauce really made them top notch. It was all quite civilized until I weed on the grass next to the tent. The walk to the toilet was just too far. Besides, it's not like any children were going to play on that bit of grass.. oh wait. But, in all seriousness, it was a wicked birthday and we saw some amazing views, including some sheep bones..
One day we went on a big walk and decided to venture up a grass verge. Half way up it, we realised just how steep it was and had to resume a flattering position just to stay alive. It's that moment when you do a nervous laugh, but you actually think you might slip and die. Amy slipped down a bit, and I think I weed my pants a little from laughing. I'm starting to think I might have a bladder problem.. Maybe it's my age. I kept thinking Scar was going to appear at the top and violently push me down. We did make it to the top though.
After all these exciting events, I came home to early starts and full time work. All I wanted was to play in sheep poo again.. (I forgot to say, some rams nearly killed us on one of our walks- well, they looked like they wanted to kill us.)
My life is so uninteresting that I seem to think the characters in soaps are people I know. I expect to see Alfie Moon and Phil Mitchell whenever I go grocery shopping. It's because I don't have any real friends. The highlight of this week is that I found out Augustana have released a new album. Yay. They didn't tell me personally which is quite frankly rude, but Amazon did make a point of letting me know.
Actually, the real highlight of the week was shopping in Derby today with my mother. Even if she almost had a breakdown due to Saturday shoppers. We shopped for a few hours and had lunch- the latter was a horrific chicken burger that looked like it had already been eaten. Should have gone to KFC rather than the budget chicken bar. On the way home my mother fell asleep. Obviously I had tired her out by trying on endless pairs of red trousers.
I'm spending my Saturday night reading, watching The X Factor and eating a Chinese ready meal. I might treat myself to a WKD. Ooooooh. The possibilities are endless. I don't even think I'd want to go out even if someone asked me to.. (I'm not just saying that because no has or will ask me..)
Tomorrow, it is my cousin's son's 3rd birthday party. It's being held at a pub, which makes me extremely happy. It will be nice to wear nice clothes and not my scummy work clothes. At work, I tend to look like a lesbian who lives on a farm. Actually, most of the time I look like that. Probably investing in red trousers and brown trousers isn't my best move. All I need now is some dungarees. I just don't want to give myself a permanent camel toe quite yet.. I need to find a fancy dress costume for next week, and I'm really struggling to find anything. I want to be a teddy bear, but this is proving to be difficult. I'm hoping to gatecrash Chester University's Freshers week and pretend that I'm not actually approaching 30. The plan is to go out 3 nights in a row. I'm probably going to break something or die. I'll let you know in a couple of weeks.
The evening before my birthday, she 'accidentally' got drunk and kept shouting at me "why aren't you drunk?!?!"... erm maybe because you have drank all of the alcohol within a 5 mile radius.
I made it clear that no muddy shoes were allowed in the sleeping bit of the tent. (I realise how anal I am.) Of course, a drunk Amy forgot this and fell into the tent and then proceeded to kick the inside of it, leaving muddy footprints for us to stare at. She set an alarm for midnight to wish me a happy birthday, and then slept through both of them. She also winded me by trying to give me a birthday spoon. THEN in the morning, she forgot it was actually my birthday... Awkward.
On my birthday, we went to the pub in the evening to drink and play cards. Then we took pizzas back to the tent. We had an indepth conversation about the quality of said pizzas. The sauce really made them top notch. It was all quite civilized until I weed on the grass next to the tent. The walk to the toilet was just too far. Besides, it's not like any children were going to play on that bit of grass.. oh wait. But, in all seriousness, it was a wicked birthday and we saw some amazing views, including some sheep bones..
One day we went on a big walk and decided to venture up a grass verge. Half way up it, we realised just how steep it was and had to resume a flattering position just to stay alive. It's that moment when you do a nervous laugh, but you actually think you might slip and die. Amy slipped down a bit, and I think I weed my pants a little from laughing. I'm starting to think I might have a bladder problem.. Maybe it's my age. I kept thinking Scar was going to appear at the top and violently push me down. We did make it to the top though.
After all these exciting events, I came home to early starts and full time work. All I wanted was to play in sheep poo again.. (I forgot to say, some rams nearly killed us on one of our walks- well, they looked like they wanted to kill us.)
My life is so uninteresting that I seem to think the characters in soaps are people I know. I expect to see Alfie Moon and Phil Mitchell whenever I go grocery shopping. It's because I don't have any real friends. The highlight of this week is that I found out Augustana have released a new album. Yay. They didn't tell me personally which is quite frankly rude, but Amazon did make a point of letting me know.
Actually, the real highlight of the week was shopping in Derby today with my mother. Even if she almost had a breakdown due to Saturday shoppers. We shopped for a few hours and had lunch- the latter was a horrific chicken burger that looked like it had already been eaten. Should have gone to KFC rather than the budget chicken bar. On the way home my mother fell asleep. Obviously I had tired her out by trying on endless pairs of red trousers.
I'm spending my Saturday night reading, watching The X Factor and eating a Chinese ready meal. I might treat myself to a WKD. Ooooooh. The possibilities are endless. I don't even think I'd want to go out even if someone asked me to.. (I'm not just saying that because no has or will ask me..)
Tomorrow, it is my cousin's son's 3rd birthday party. It's being held at a pub, which makes me extremely happy. It will be nice to wear nice clothes and not my scummy work clothes. At work, I tend to look like a lesbian who lives on a farm. Actually, most of the time I look like that. Probably investing in red trousers and brown trousers isn't my best move. All I need now is some dungarees. I just don't want to give myself a permanent camel toe quite yet.. I need to find a fancy dress costume for next week, and I'm really struggling to find anything. I want to be a teddy bear, but this is proving to be difficult. I'm hoping to gatecrash Chester University's Freshers week and pretend that I'm not actually approaching 30. The plan is to go out 3 nights in a row. I'm probably going to break something or die. I'll let you know in a couple of weeks.
posted by Belinda at
09:14
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