Winning at life :)

Since leaving University, my intelligence level has dropped drastically. I no longer speak properly, and have started to drop letters off of words, coming out with phrases such as "am jus' goin' t' shop". I cannot tell you how difficult it is to type and spell correctly whilst still making sense right now. As Long As I Never Type Like This, I Will Remain Happy.

To try and cling on to the precious few brain cells I still have, I have begged my training coordinator at work to send me on every course she hears about. This also includes doing a NVQ in Health and Social Care.. I will probably regret this decision when I am working full time, learning Chinese, accountancy, child psychology and how to be a gym instructor. (Yes, I've been browsing the internet for home learning courses..) I just wish someone would set me an essay. Or ask me to do a powerpoint. Anything.

My Graduation is in a couple of weeks, and I'm really worried that I'm going to be the dick that falls over and smashes their face into someone's crotch. My parents are coming, and my brother and his girlfriend.. so there will be plenty of photos of any 'face to crotch' incidents. Unless it's later on in the night, and then it's X-rated.. wheeeeyyy. I'm dreading the hat hair. That and speaking like a knobhead is probably going to ruin the whole experience. Maybe people will think my new 'accent' is charming..

I went to an 18th birthday party at the weekend, which was slightly depressing as no one asked for my ID, or even looked at me for longer than a second to figure out if I was of age. They just knew straight away that I'm practically approaching 30. My antics of the night were not very mature though, as when leaving the party at 11.30pm to meet my boyfriend and his friends, I suddenly chundered. Luckily, no one actually saw it happen, and I was fine for the rest of the night.. The very fact that I just wiped my face, drank some vodka to take the nasty taste away, popped some chewing gum and then delicately stepped over the vomit doesn't really sound like the mature thing to do.. I was a trooper and stayed out until 4am, but I really did pay for it the next day.

I'm still battling obesity, and convincing myself every day that I just fucking love salad so much. I also gave up smoking, and nearly killed everyone I came into contact with. So I bought an electronic cigarette for those rage filled moments.. then I got drunk, and bought some cigarettes, and a fat kebab. I'm winning at life :)

I'm going to go and suck on a fake cigarette and munch on an apple. And learn how to say "fuck you world" in Chinese. Yay.